Week 25 (16 - 22 June): Camp Homecoming Reflections 2

Coming back from camp always brings bittersweet emotions. I’m grateful for the time away — four days free from the weight of my daily responsibilities. I get to worship freely, speak with God, and pray with and over my community. The memories and bonds formed are precious, and they leave you recharged. You’re meant to return to life overflowing with His love, secure in your identity as His child, and burning with the desire to share Him with others.

Yet the moment I stepped back into Singapore, something shifted. Maybe you’ve felt this too — battling to keep the camp afterglow and not let life dull your connection with God. So when Monday came, I was determined to be ready for anything, full of light and love! But by the end of the day, I was sitting at home at 11pm with my head in my hands. After meetings, new research tasks, crisis calls from student volunteers, and last-minute plans to help a friend, I was anything but full of light and love. I was frustrated and anxious, and on instinct, I sorted everything I needed to do by urgency. 

So, the first thing I sacrificed was praying on my knees in the morning — I could just say a quick prayer later on the way to work, right? Reading my Bible was replaced by time spent poring over cases. By the time the alarm bells began to sound in my head, the camp afterglow had already faded and I was exhausted and miserable all over again. I could sense the Holy Spirit nudging and correcting me - remember Ps Angela spoke about having the fear of God in our hearts? When the high of being fully in the Spirit wears off, is there this profound awe and respect that keeps God at a priority level above everything else? 

When I asked God why things felt so different, I realised it was because my posture had shifted. He never needed me to sit for two hours a day reading Scripture to meet Him. He just needed my desire to be there with Him — and He would make time for everything else.

That reminded me of something Lycia said in her reflection about being marked. There are two ways to be marked: one, that you are changed forever; and two, that you are known. In the first sense, you cannot live two separate lives after you surrender it to Him. There is simply no life apart. When I tried to stay full of light and love on my own strength, it was impossible because the capacity for love He gave me is far beyond what I can generate. As Psalms 73:26 says, “When my flesh and my heart fail, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” 

In the second sense, being marked means you are known — which is why He is “absolutely relentless in His pursuit of us.” So if you’re like me, one of His little sheep who keeps stumbling off, just stop and turn around. He’s already there, ready to bring you home when you surrender. 

If you are struggling with the same battle to stay connected, this is your gentle nudge to pause and head back. The best way to start is with worship and being still — this was my battle playlist for the past week. May our hearts ever be turned to God. Take care! :) 

Love,

Zoe